Former Royal Marine Commando, Ben Wadham, was a physical training instructor responsible for ensuring recruits reach the high standards set by the elite force.

Ben proudly served in countries around the world, but that service came at a price.

What he had seen, done and witnessed, including the loss of his friend and fellow 42 Commando, Richie Watson, whilst on patrol in Afghanistan, impacted his mental health.

The transition from service to civilian life was also a huge step, one he wasn’t prepared for.

“I remember being in Cyprus, post-Afghanistan," said Ben.

"We were all gathered in a village hall where a Navy officer gave a five minute lecture on what Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is. Then, as soon as he left, about 25 crates of beer were thrown through the door. We got drunk, woke up the next morning, spent half an hour on the beach, and then flew home. That was it."

“There is a stigma surrounding mental health in the military, particularly among men who see themselves as alpha males," Ben explained.

"We just go 'there’s nothing wrong with me’, but the truth is the people who say there's nothing wrong are often the ones who eventually break. Many of my friends are dealing with similar issues.”

Life as a civilian was major challenge for Ben, leaving behind the respect and recognition he earned in the military. 

"You build up a reputation for yourself and become somebody within the organisation," he said.

"But in the civilian world, it doesn't matter. You have to re-establish who you are and what you're about, and it took me a long time to find my place."

Ben has now found help from Rock2Recovery, which is supported by grants from the Veterans’ Foundation’s Operation Lifeline. 

Rock2Recovery is a free service that is life changing and life saving.

In 2022, 50 potential suicides were saved by the Rock2Recovery team.

"I've been checking in with those guys once a month and they're genuinely lifesavers," Ben said. 

"There is light at the end of the tunnel if you keep chipping away at it.”

In 2021, 253 UK veterans took their own lives.

George Ellis was one of them. He was just 24.

George served six years with the Yorkshire Regiment 1 Yorks. In late April, George took his own life.

Since that devastating moment, his father, Adrian, has campaigned to raise awareness around suicide in young people and helped to set up a talking group that supports veterans with mental health issues.

“George wanted to join the Army, it was the right thing for him to do and the proudest day of my life was watching him pass out," said Adrian.

"The colleagues we’ve spoken to said he was such an amazing soldier and the guy that would lift them when they were down.

"When he came out of the Army after six years, having served in Afghanistan, George struggled to adapt," he added.

"Civilian life was so different and it was a culture shock."

“He then met Katie, his girlfriend, and he was a different George. He blossomed," said Adrian.

But at 8.31pm on Friday, April 30, 2021, Adrian, who was away from home at the time, received a text message.

It read: 'Dad, where’s the tablets, I’m going to kill myself. I‘m sorry, I love you.'

By the time Adrian and his wife Carol returned, George had passed away.

“After we lost George I was beating myself up. Maybe like survivor’s guilt. Why has my son done this? What was so bad that he took his own life, why couldn’t he reach out?

“Someone once told me it gets better with time, my answer to that would be grief never goes away,” said Adrian.

It was then that Paul Matson, founder of Hull 4 Heroes, contacted George with a view to setting up military mens’ talking group so veterans could meet and discuss their problems. Soon after, GEO was born.

GEO didn’t just stand for Get Emotions Out, it was George Ellis’ nickname, too.

“The veterans have all said they go to the doctors but the doctors don’t know how to treat them. But they feel at home in this GEO environment," explained Adrian.

“We have had people attend GEO with a plan to end their life and they’ve come back the next week and they’ve torn that plan up. They are in a room with people who understand and that’s so powerful.

“I couldn’t save George but his legacy will live on.” 

Hi, my name’s Liz and I was a member of the RAF’s Medical Emergency Response Team (MERT). This is my story, thank you for reading it.

At the age of 21, I was on the frontline in Helmand Province, dropping into war zones in a Chinook helicopter to support British casualties.

I was deployed for ten highly kinetic tours and flew over 3,000 hours until being finally discharged due to a neck injury.

Without the uniform and the sense of identity it provided, life became very challenging and what I had gone through being part of the response team took its toll.

In August 2020, I attempted to end my life by taking an overdose.

I’ve asked myself, what made me do it, what made me want to end my life?

The main trigger can be tracked back to a night when I couldn't sleep. I started looking up the back catalogue of the soldiers that I picked up on MERT who had died.

Those memories really started to fester in my head, and it was filled with random thoughts that I just couldn't get rid of.

At the time, I always used to look at the casualties, and the bodies that we picked up on MERT, as just a really precious piece of freight because if I started to humanise them then that really would have been the start of the undoing of me.

I think a lot of us felt the same.

My busiest day of service involved 14 back-to-back missions, retrieving injured troops and bodies. The effort and sacrifices made in Afghanistan significantly advanced medical science and that gave me a real sense of purpose.

But when I was medically discharged, I lost my identity. I felt invisible. Lost. It is something many veterans battle with.

The 2020 lockdown further unravelled my mental state and in August, I attempted to take my own life with an overdose. Thankfully I failed.

I woke up in intensive care two days later and my mental state had completely shifted; I didn't want to die.

Thanks to the veterans support system, which has been vital to my survival, I am rebuilding my life. Sadly some veterans haven’t been as lucky as me.

If you really want to help, and play a part in rebuilding a life, then please support Operation Lifeline and Sponsor A Veteran.

There are thousands of veterans waiting to begin their journey of recovery – waiting for the chance to live a full life again. Your sponsorship will make that happen.